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I wanted women who read our profile to feel safe — emotionally and physically — contacting us. (Yes, I’ve read the comments from readers who call couples who want to have a threesome creepy and terrible.
Thanks for getting in my head.) Then, I started swiping. Many women on Thrinder hid their faces, which I understand.
This made me curious: What is it like to meet women as a couple on dating apps? I downloaded Thrinder and created a couple's account for us, and downloaded Ok Cupid and created my own account, which I linked to Ryan’s.
I stocked both accounts with flattering pictures of us at the beach, dancing together at summer parties, and looking in love.
But you can’t see much of their personalities on the app, either, so that left us with nothing to go on. Others were aggressively sexual, with close-ups of her butt in lacy lingerie and his abs above boxers, or a headless shot of their almost-naked bodies intertwined on a bed.
Some women put unicorn emoji in their profiles, indicating they were interested in something a little more long-term. I swiped right on some of the cute couples, and on a lot of women.
Our most nourishing connections came from meeting people in person and feeling something build in a lively conversation accented by body language. So I texted our date and told her that we were working through some things in our relationship and didn’t want to bring her in the middle. I know it’s probably possible to find a great threesome or foursome on a dating app.
Or, I would match with a woman, only to see that she explicitly said in her profile for creepy couples to leave her alone, which I respected.
I did match with two or three women, but our messages fell off.
I added to our profile to say that I actually bisexual, that I wasn’t just doing this for Ryan.
After a couple of weeks of dead ends, we got a message from a cute girl on Ok Cupid, saying she really liked our profile.